It’s come to my attention that most men don’t understand that when speak of equality, we speak of equal rights. We do not mean that we believe there are no genetic differences between the sexes. So, I hope this article helps you understand things a little better.
Whenever I speak to a non femininst, the reasons they bring up as to why we can’t attain equality are mostly to do with gender roles, jobs and/or careers and of course the genetic differences. My aim is to explain why these shouldn’t be reasons that we can attain equality (equal rights).
If I had a nickel for every time someone said women are better at certain things like cooking than men, I possibly would be rich by now. Listen, all you who still think like this (P.S I know them pick me women still think like this too, it’s not just men). There is this thing called gender roles, what are they? You ask, I’m getting to it.
According to Wikipedia, a gender role also known as a sex role is a social role encompassing a range of behaviours and attitudes that are generally considered acceptable, appropriate, or desirable for people based on their actual perceived sex. Gender roles are usually centered on conceptions of masculinity and femininity, although there are exceptions and variations.
In other words, gender roles are simply socially constructed roles, therefore, can be changed and are not the same throughout different parts of the world but have possibly existed since the beginning of time. Using cooking as an example of a gender role, the only reason you think women are better at cooking and there are more women who are better at cooking than most men is because it has always been viewed as something women should do. In the old times (bantu era) men went hunting and women cooked. Now men don’t hunt but women are still expected to cook, we all know women who work just like men and are still expected to cook because it’s their duty as a wife. And I have no problem with women cooking for their husbands as long as they do it because they want to not because they are obligated to. And the thing is, cooking is actually a skill and just like any other skill, the more you practice the better you become at it. And women are made to practice from a very young age, (I know men who only started cooking in university). I believe each person should be as self-sufficient as possible and gender roles hinder this, that is why some of us would like their elimination. I know that to some people, a world of no gender roles seems like a world of chaos, but it’s not. In a world of no gender roles, each person is taught the basic skills they will need in life, everyone has the same chores in the house, which prepares you for life and not be dependent on other people for basic skills such as cooking, that in my opinion everyone should know.
Moving on to jobs…
I love how people (mostly men) like to point out that men are better at certain jobs like those that involve heavy labour than women. And how women don’t even like such jobs. Listen, jobs have this thing called qualifications, which is basically the criteria you have to meet to prove you can do the job. Qualifications of an entire field should never be based on sex or race particular jobs in a given field however, can be. For example, someone who owns a black business might want to offer employment to only black people and another person who is looking for a nanny might specify whether they want a male or female nanny. When we talk about equality in the work industry, what we mean is each person should be hired based on their qualifications; hire the person with the better qualifications regardless of their sex and their salary should be dependent on how much work they put in, not their sex. Yes, not all women want heavy labour jobs just like not all men want heavy labour jobs. What we want is opportunity for the women who have an interest in such jobs and are qualified. They should be allowed to work and not be discriminated simply because they are women. So, conclusion; the job qualifications of an entire sector should not include the sex of the person.
Next,
Genetic differences as we all know exist. We as feminists don’t deny that, but then again, I do not speak on behalf of all feminists. Equality = Equal rights. With that in mind, because of our genetic differences, I know we are not equal this however doesn’t mean we can’t have equal rights. I particularly brought this up because a saw a post about transgender women dominating sports and how now we must address gender inequality as a legitimate concern (his words). Firstly, the issue of transgender women in sports is a very controversial topic that experts are still having on going conversations and research. But even though there are still on-going conversations, the International Olympic Committee (among other sports organisations) have set guidelines that allow trans women to compete in women’s sport such as demonstrating a testosterone level of less than 10 nanomiles/liter for at least a year before competition. This guideline acknowledges the privilege trans women possess as compared to cisgender women and it makes sure that the women competing have equal rights. Genetic differences exist but we can certainly have equal rights.
Privilege exists and people should learn to acknowledge theirs and help those who do not have the same privilege. it should never be reason as to why we can’t attain equality. It’s not the role of the oppressor to say there is no oppression when the oppressed say there is. And lastly, the goal has never been to deny our differences but to have equal rights for all.
Sincerely,
Feminist.
Snippets of our love scenes keep flashing in my mind, when I least expect them. They float in so effortlessly and sudden, one minute I’m thinking about what to eat, then next I’m thinking about how my fingers always seem to know where to be on your body. I never really thought that much of us, I mean you were a guy and I was a girl, you happened to love me too deeply and I treated you badly, so I never really thought that much of us, I compared us to past experiences and we were just ordinary, my feelings towards you felt ordinary most times, but lately I’m watching my shows and a love scene makes me think of you, I think ‘I have felt this before, for you.’ That maybe I was actually in love and didn’t just know it, flashes and snippets of our love scenes in bed, bodies tangled and happy. You were home to me and now I’m scared that I left my home to be on my own because I thought that’s what I needed but I’m not well when I’m not with you, I’m scared that the flashes are only because I’m alone and I don’t actually miss you, I’m scared that if I tell you this you will drop everything and rush to me and I want you but I don’t want you to, because you seem happier now, but I’m also scared that you moved on and if I tell you this you will tell me you don’t feel the same, so we have sex and don’t talk about us and it’s amazing except I’m having flashes and snippets of our love scenes and I think, I love you but I know we don’t work and even though it hurts, and trust me it does, this is how it has to be.
Unleashed_goddess 